Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
