i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
