His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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