sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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