I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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