Don't make out with my wife yet
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
