it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
