ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
