my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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