I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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