I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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