Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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