I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
