He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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