Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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