Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
