honey bunches of taint.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
