im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
