Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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