Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
