yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I didn't notice because vodka
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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