found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
i out mim tonsoeep
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
