So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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