for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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