no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
