Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
