we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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