I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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