Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
