OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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