I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
