I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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