I think I died a long time ago.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
