tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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