i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
