Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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