My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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