In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just want to make out with him forever
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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