Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
