Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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