Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
