After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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