The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
