u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
