Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
