I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
