Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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