She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
