If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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