Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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