Me too!
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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