I'm really into asian looking animals
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
