More tranny stories later!
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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