A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
